Dave's Thought
"Why do I feel left out, even when I’m around people?"
Am I doing something wrong?
Response
This is such a great question! You know, sometimes when we are around people, we might feel unseen, maybe even as if we don’t belong. That feeling sucks, doesn’t it? Well, I am sorry that you feel left out. I don’t think you are doing something wrong– not at all! Maybe you just need some quiet time to yourself. But, maybe we need to think about if you are around the right people. When you feel left out, are you with your friends and family? If you are not, then maybe we need to help you make good friends who you will feel comfortable with, you know. But, if you are with friends and family, maybe we need to help you build the courage so that you can ask them to include you in things. Please remember that you are not doing anything wrong. Sometimes people don’t see how cool and awesome and amazing we are! Remember just how awesome you are. And we can think about ways for you to ask to be included, so you don’t feel alone. What do you think about this idea?
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A Parent's Thought
"I’m exhausted. Nothing I do seems to work."
How can parents recognize emotional burnout in themselves and avoid parenting from a place of guilt or frustration? What are healthy ways to reset and reconnect?
Response
I’d like to start by saying that I think parents are heroes who don’t get the proper recognition. Burnout is so real and I think our parents need to recognize that they are susceptible to it. It is important for parents to prioritize self-care. In this day and age, I think this talk of self-care seems cliche, but it is true. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Parents need to do what brings them joy, peace, rest, and a sense of equilibrium. Parents also need to be more aware of the signs of burnout for themselves and address it immediately. Parents can also recognize their stressors and identify these stressors so that they can be more aware of them more actively. It is important for parents to lean on their support systems! No one is an island– if you feel like you are an island, we need to change that immediately! We all need support one way or the other; once we identify support, then we can start sharing responsibilities, etc. Support doesn’t just mean who will watch the kids; support also means emotional support. Do you have a way to let out your frustrations effectively so that you are not taking your emotions out on your kids?
If perhaps you’ve parented out of frustration or annoyance because of burnout, please repair with the kids by saying “I’m sorry.” This humble approach is modeling for the kids that their parents recognize their limitations. Kids forgive quickly, which is a plus! Say sorry, then continue to work on yourself. Implement boundaries for yourself and the kids and try to maintain those boundaries. Above all, please let your kids know that you love them. Reminding them that you love them is also a great way to repair things with them.
